Bring Her Flowers
January 27, 2004
“I have the best boyfriend in the world! All my friends are jealous! He’s thoughtful and romantic and appreciates all I do for him. He makes me feel so special and regularly shows how much he cares for me. I can’t imagine ever being interested in any other guy because my boyfriend spoils me and no one else could ever measure up!”
…Yeah, right! How many people do you know are dating that dream guy? Think about how she would talk to her friends about you. Would she sing your praises and tell them how special you make her feel? Or would she say, “Yeah, I love him, and even though he forgot our anniversary, I’m sure he cares. He just doesn’t know how to show it.” In case you are something other than that dream guy, I have a simple suggestion to help strengthen your relationship. Even though I’m speaking from my own perspective, what I’m talking about may be generalized and applied to anyone in any relationship. Whether you have a girlfriend, husband, best friend, or anyone else special in your life, you can apply this idea to make that relationship better.
The idea is simple: bring her flowers. This easy gesture will have an enormous effect on your relationship. If you think that giving flowers is overdone or unoriginal, you may substitute any small thoughtful gesture in its place. Some substitutions for consideration are: bringing her dinner, writing “I Love You” on the foggy bathroom mirror, lighting candles around the house just before she gets home, or hiding a quick love note in her coat pocket. A regular schedule of thoughtful gestures done for no apparent reason will enhance your relationship and secure a place in her heart for you.
Doing something as simple as bringing her flowers doesn’t cost you much but the rewards are high. A dozen roses sells for as little as $9.99 at the nearest Village Gardens, which is far less of an investment than what you will get back from her. If making her smile isn’t enough to move you to action, think about some of the other benefits: it feels good to be nice, the flowers smell pleasant and brighten up the house for a week or so, she will probably reciprocate by making you dinner (or even dessert if you know what I mean) and it also gives you leverage to get what you want. She’s less willing to object when you want to watch the game or go out with the guys if she feels taken care of and appreciated.
More important than what you get out of it is what a regular dosage of small thoughtful gestures does for your entire relationship. Bringing her flowers makes her day because she knows you were thinking of her when you were apart. She’s reminded of it every time she sees them and it makes her feel special. She does things for you all the time so it makes her think you appreciate her and everything she does. It also makes you appear romantic and thoughtful, especially if you remember small details like her favorite color or her favorite flower. But possibly the most important reason to give her flowers is what I call the “brag factor.” The cold, hard truth is that you are in competition with her friends’ boyfriends. Bringing her flowers gives you an advantage over the others. She gets to brag about how thoughtful you are, and her friends all wish they had gotten flowers from their boyfriends. An extra bonus comes from sending them directly to her work so the friends get to see them first hand. If you do small, thoughtful gestures often, she will undoubtedly tell the others about all the romantic things you do for her. On the other hand, if her friend is the lucky one with the “brag factor,” you will suddenly appear much less appealing. She will see that there are other guys out there that can make her feel special and appreciated, and you don’t want that.
It’s easy, inexpensive, and exceptionally beneficial. So, on your way home, I ask to you to stop and get some flowers for her. Even most grocery stores have perfectly acceptable bouquets – they don’t have to be expensive. Practically any type of flowers has the same effect. And next week, do something else for no reason to show her you appreciate her…and the week after that. And never stop.